Mind your tongue
by hectatess
Summary: We all know our boys, especially Dean, have quite the habit of cussing and calling people names. He might just want to watch his language... Rated M for safety, I never know where my Muse takes me.
1. Chapter 1

Abigail Rose was staring at the two FBI agents at the table and sighed. ' _We all have our parts to play...'_ she thought sarcastically. The shorter of the two, with sandy hair and amazingly green eyes, bent over to her a bit and said: "So, mrs. Rose..." Abigail held up her hand. "It's ms." The agent's mouth curled into a cute grin. "Allright. Ms. Rose it is. You said to the police that you didn't think Josh McCreedy was attacked by a bear. Why was that?" Abigail looked him into the eyes and relaxed a bit. "Well, agent Young, I saw what got him, and it did not look like any bear." The other agent, taller and with shoulderlength hair, slightly darker than his partner's, piped up. "You  saw it? What did it look like, if it wasn't a bear?" Abigail shook her head. "You wouldn't believe me, agent Johnson." The agents looked at eachother, one look, but it spoke volumes to them. They nodded and in unison they said: "Try us." Abigail giggled, causing agent Young to raise his eyebrows and agent Johnson to smile. She turned to agent Johnson. "You have a very radiant smile, agent. It's beautiful!" Agent Johnson actually looked abashed and scratched his neck. His partner chuckled. "Please ms. Rose. I know my partner has stellar looks, but let's concentrate on the case." His partner shot him a perfect bitchface and Abigail could have sworn she heard him mutter: "Jerk." Agent Young looked at him sideways and equally low answered him: "Bitch." Abigail bit her lip, not to giggle again. ' _You can't fool me, guys. You are no agents... Wonder if... Hm. I will find out. In the mean time, let's keep on track.'_ She coughed and answered. "It looked like a hairy human, but with very pointy ears and big claws." The men exchanged another one of those looks. "Really?" agent Johnson asked. "That does sound strange, but we've heard worse. Thank you for your time. We will get on this. If you remember anything else, anything, how weird it may seem, give us a call." He handed her a business card. Abigail looked at it and tucked it in the chest pocket of her blouse. "I will, agents. Thank you for listening." She turned on her heel and walked out of the station.

Dean looked at the behind of ms. Abigail Rose. It was nice and it moved enticingly as she walked off. "Ooh Sammy, she liked you!" he teased his brother. "Come off it, Dean! Let's just go, allright?" Sam gathered his stuff and followed ms. Rose in her footsteps. Dean grinned like a pumpkin and walked out of the station with a spring in his step. "So, mr. Stellar looks... Whaddaya think?" Sam gave him a quick bitchface for good meassure and opened his casefile. "Well, he got clawed up real good, so good that he is still in hospital, but there is no real bear habitat around here. And the statement of ms. Rose made me think wendigo, but they rarely leave their victims alive." Dean nodded in agreement. "Only time we heard of, was that old guy in Blackwater Ridge. And wendigos are notoriously fast, so it would be strange that your sweet ms. Rose saw it." Dean added, with a slight grin. Sam didn't bite and leafed through the folder thoughtfully. "Unless she saw it, but it didn't see her... Let's get to the scene. See what we can see." He opened the door of the Impala and slid inside. Dean shoved his hands down his trouser pockets and grumbled: "Yeah, and if we're really lucky we'll get poison ivy. UGH." He opened the Impala's driversside door and got in too.

Abigail watched the sleek, black car rumble off, before she stepped out of the shady corner she had been standing in. "Well now... Hunters, eh boys?" She smiled. "I'm going to have fun with you!" She almost skipped to her Volvo V40 and drove to her house, only a stones throw away from the attack site. Since she knew the area infinitely better then the hunters, she got home well before they got to the site. She grabbed a few odds and ends, and turned over the top of her sidetable. It revealed a beautiful carving of a pentacle in the middle and two circles, made out of Celtic knots at the top corners. Abigail set two candlesticks on the circles and placed a bowl in the middle. She started mixing herbs in the bowl. A beautiful, silvergrey cat hoped on the table and Abigail stroked its back. "Ah, Moonbeam, we have hunters in the area." Moonbeam looked at her with big, silvery eyes and meowed softly. "Well, I invited them, you know. We have a wendigo in the area, and they will know what to do." Again Moonbeam meowed and Abigail smiled. "Thank you for your trust in me, dear. But I only slowed it down, so we could get young mr. McCreedy out and that took a lot out of me." Moonbeam jumped off the table and transformed into a slender teenaged girl with silvery blonde hair and the same silvery eyes. She handed Abigail a bundle of dried lemonbalm. "You know, Abby, I hope they won't come after you." Abigail cupped her cheek with her hand. "Luna, dear, I have some emergency hexbags. Besides, I'm a good witch, I never harm anyone." Luna cocked an eyebrow at her. "Really? So you didn't hex those boys who were hanging out in the graveyard?" Abigail innocently blinked her eyes. "No I didn't. I only hexed those who ended up desecrating the graves." Luna's eyes widened. "Really? So that's what happened. Stupid dicks." Abigail picked up a purple hexbag and waved it at Luna. "Careful, dear. Familiar or no, if you don't clean up your language, I'll use this." Luna eyed the bag suspiciously. "What does that do?" Abigail smiled again. "It turns anyone you insult, into the thing you called them, within minutes." Luna grinned. "Sweet! So if I'd call Julian a dick, he'd become one?" Abigail's smile dropped. "Yes, but you would also turn your best friend into a monkey, if you just happen to say that to her in a fit, or if she does something stupid, into an idiot." Luna clasped her hand over her mouth. "Holy Mother Earth! That is less sweet... I'll behave." Abigail smiled sweetly. "I know you will."


	2. Chapter 2

Sam sat om his haunches, poking with a stick in the mulch at his feet. "Dean... Check this out!" Dean came over and squatted next to Sam. "What the Hell is that?" Sam lifted a shred of leather from the ground. "Looks like a hexbag, or a spell. And check this." He poked at some charred plant material. "Vervain, yarrow and that looks like borage." Dean frowned. "Not very endiginous plants, are they?" Sam looked at him with a smile. ' _And he thinks he isn't smart. You are smart brother, just not booksmart._ ' Standing up and brushing his hands down his jeans, he nodded. "Right you are." Dean followed suit, glad they had changed from the fed suit in regular clothes before heading out here. "So... Witch? But we did see signs of a wendigo too." Sam nodded slowly. "That's bugging me too." Dean glanced around the woods. "What the Hell is going on here?" Sam shrugged. "I don't know, but I think we might want to see if ms. Rose knows more than she let on." Dean flashed a grin at him. "Is that so? Are you sure that's the real reason?" Sam produced a grade A bitchface. "Shuddup, Dean. If I remember correctly, she lives just a click south of here. We can walk." Dean glanced at the trees behind which he knew his Baby stood. "Awe Sam, really?" Sam stoïcly walked in the other direction. "Come on, Dean. Exercise 'll do you good." Dean kicked a pinecone, stuffed his hands in his pockets and followed his brother. "Stupid moose brother. I'd rather drive Baby over there. At least I'll know she's save then."

Moonbeam dashed into the house, came to a screaching halt and changed into Luna. Panting the teen blurted out: "The... The hunters... They... They're coming... This way... At the... Dead oak... Crossing... Just now." Abigail hurridly turned the tabletop back to the blank side and put the bowl of herbs in her kitchen cabinet. Just as she closed the door on it, there was a loud knock. ' _Those hunters must have set quite the pace, to get here that fast._ ' Abigail motioned to Luna. "Quick! Change!" she hissed, before opening the door. "Agent Johnson! Agent Young! What a pleasant surprise. Anything wrong?" Agent Johnson smiled, but it was a tight smile and had nothing on the radiant one at the police station. "Sorry to bother you, ms. Rose, but we have some more questions." Abigail looked them over. ' _Oh yeah... Definitely hunters. Plaid, four layers of clothing at least, tatty jeans and biker boots._ ' She opened the door wider and invited them in. "Does the FBI allow such clothing, agent?" Agent Young turned his green eyes at her and she involuntairily stepped back. Those beautiful eyes were shooting green fire. He was irritated! "We just hiked close to a mile straight through the woods, ms. Our office suits wouldn't have survived, would they?" His gruff voice was even rougher with surpressed anger. Outwardly calm, she replied. "I guess not. Could I lessen the bother with some nice iced tea?" The green eyes switched to the hazel ones of agent Johnson. The taller man nodded. "Yes please. It's muggy today, and that hike sure warmed us." Abigail showed them the diningroom. "Please, take a seat, I'll be right back." She quickly took the glass pitcher out of the fridge and put it on a tray with some glasses. Moonbeam jumped on the counter and mewed. "No, just iced tea. I did toy with the idea, but they are hunters. They'd notice." She took the tray and went back to the diningroom. "Here we go, agents! Time to cool off a bit." The green eyes lit up. "Thank you ms. Rose. I'm sorry for snapping. I'm not that fond of hiking, as my partner knows very well. But he is just a Nature lover. I bet he'd love to live here." Again the taller agent threw him a bitchface, and just as he had done at the station, he said, barely audible: "Jerk." Agent Young sipped his iced tea, and from behind his glass he whispered "Bitch." Abigail was beginning to understand this. It was some sort of exchange they had. One would say one word, the other would reply with the other. She thought it was cute. "So. What can I do for you?" Agent Johnson put his glass down. "Well, we were just at the site of the attack, and we found something odd. So now we would like to hear from you, exactly what you saw. Every detail." Abigail raked her brain. What could they have found?


	3. Chapter 3

"... And that's basically it." Dean looked at Sam. He didn't believe it was. And judging by the look Sam gave him back, neither did he. "So, ms. Rose, you didn't see anyone else?" he asked. "No, agent Young. Just that... thing and poor Josh." Sam pretended to accept that. Suddenly he asked: "Do you know much about herbs, ms. Rose?" She looked thrown by the question. "Well, a bit. We do live in the woods. That's an herb supermarket, isn't it?" Dean pursed his lips and nodded. "Then you might be able to tell us where we could find a patch of yarrow. Am I right?" Ms. Rose blinked. "Maybe... But wait!" Suddenly she called out. "Luna! Could you come here for a minute?" A slender teen girl with silvery blonde hair came in from the kitchen. "Yes, aunt Abby?" Ms. Rose pointed at Sam. "This is agent Johnson." Her hand moved towards Dean. "And this is agent Young. They are FBI. They had some questions concerning poor Josh. Agents, this is my niece, Luna, she knows a bit more about the local herbs than I do." Sam nodded and Dean smiled. "Pleassure, Luna." Suddenly, Dean sneezed three times in rapid succession. "Oh, bless you!" Dean pinched his nose. "Thank you." he replied, sounding congested. "Anyway, Luna. The agents wanted to know if we could tell them where they could find a patch of... What was it? Yarrow?" Sam nodded. "Yes. Or borage if that's possible." Luna wrinkled her brow. "I don't think there are any. Those aren't local here." Dean looked at Sam again, and again Sam's look told him that they were thinking the same thing. "Allright, dear. Thank you. Oh, please, go see if you cleaned up after yourself, would you?" ms. Rose told her niece. Luna nodded. "Goodbye agents! " Dean opened his mouth to speak, but again he sneezed several times. "My, my, agent! Have you got hayfever?" ms. Rose asked sympatheticly. Rubbing his eyes, Dean answered: "No. This usually only happens around cats." Luna blinked. "Well, I'd best be going. Chores to do!" she said and quickly left the room. "Hon, please put Moonbeam out, would you? Her presence is not quite welcome now." her aunt called after her. "Teenagers... What can one do?" A sleek, silvergrey cat shot from the kitchen, though the room and disappeared through the front door. "There now. Those allergies should clear up now, agent." Dean nodded. "Thank you ms. Rose." He still sounded like he had a bad cold. Sam looked at his brother sympatheticly. "Allright. I think we have heard all we can. Unless you have thought of something else, ms?" Ms. Rose put her finger on her lips and thought for a bit. "Not that I can think of, no." Sam heard his brother sniffle and gasp for air. Concerned he looked at him. Dean looked back at him with red rims to his green eyes. "Can we go, Sam? I don't feel good, and we still have to hike." Sam nodded. "Yes, of course, Dean. Thank you so much for your help ms. Rose." They rose from their chairs. Dean picked up his jacket from the back of his and put it on. He bumped against the side table doing that. "Oh, I'm sorry." he mumbled. "You really are affected by cats, aren't you? You even lose your balance! Poor man!" Ms. Rose straightened the candlesticks. They shook hands and left the house. Once they were out of earshot, Dean, sniffling badly, said: "Guess this could be our witch." Sam nodded. "But which one is the witch? Auntie or niece?" Dean sneezed loudly. "I don't know, man, but I really want to leave now."

Abigail sat down in her chair, hard. "Oh my Goddess!" she exclaimed. Luna walked back in. "They're gone, Abby." she said. "Abby? Are you ok?" Abigail looked up at her. "We're in for it, Luna. Did you clean up?" Luna nodded. "I couldn't find anything, so I must have." Abigail rubbed her forehead. "Or they did... Luna, dear, do you know who those hunters were?" Luna shook her head. "They were very easy on the eyes, but that doesn't say anything." Abigail smiled. Teenagers... "That, dear familiar, were Sam and Dean Winchester." Luna sat down quickly. "No! Really? The stories don't do them justice. They looked nothing like heartless killers." Abigail sipped her iced tea. "Looks can deceive. Anyway... Let's just hope they kill the wendigo and be on their merry way." She rearranged her altar and sighed. "In a way we're lucky that Dean is allergic to cats. His condition made that they forgot their pretence. They used their real names, instead of their aliasses. And as a witch, even a white one, I cannot hear the names Sam and Dean together, without thinking Winchester. " She looked around searchingly. "Did you see where I put that hexbag?" Luna shrugged. "Last I saw, you put it near the altar. It must have fallen, I'll try and find it." She morphed into her cat shape and darted under the table. The next five minutes, she zoomed around the room, darting under chairs, cupboards, tables and even the sofa. When she resumed her human form, she shook her head. "Nope. I can't find it anywhere." Abigail shut a drawer, which she had been searching. "Me neither. Oh great Goddess on a lilypad! I hope the Winchesters haven't got it!"

Dean grumpily helped his brother into the motelroom. "Next time, Sammy, we take Baby. That hike cost us most of the afternoon, thanks to you. Then I still had to find that wendigo, gank it and clean up." He slid his shoulder from under his brother's giant form. "I'm going to get some grub and then turn in. I'll be glad to get the Hell out of Dodge this time." Sam limped to his bed. "I didn't want to turn my ankle on that rock, Dean. I held up as best as I could." Dean's expression softened a bit. "I know. I'm sorry, Sam. I guess I haven't been the best company today." Sam smiled wryly. He knew why. November 2nd was approaching, and Dean never forgot, even if he was up to his eyebrows in demons or monsters. Neither did Sam, but he tended to get even more quiet, whereas Dean got grumpy. "That's ok, Dean. If you're going for food, a Caesar salad will be fine. No dressing though." Dean smiled. "I know. I'll get your rabbit food along with my bacon burger." Sam smiled and, pulling up his laptop, he watched his big brother leave. When Dean came back, they ate in silence, each absorbed in his own thoughts. Dean crumpled up the burger wrapper and tossed it in the bin. "Well, Sammy. What should we do now?" Sam put his fork down and closed his laptop. "I don't know. I've been looking at the local news sites, but no freak deaths or accidents. No weird illnesses, except a rash developed by three boys at the same time. Turns out the were at the cemetary together, pushing over headstones." Dean smirked. "Serves them right. Never mess around with graves, unless you're on a salt and burn." Sam grinned. "So, I think our witch might be of the good kind, like James." Dean stared at him. "What? Dean, what?" Sam was a little alarmed. "James..." Dean said. "James... And Portia! Sammy, we've been had! Aunt and niece my ass! Luna is her familiar! That cat and that girl were one and the same!" Sam looked puzzled. "What? How did you figure that?" Dean tapped his nose. "My allergies. When we helped out James, I came across a cat familiar, Philippe. Even when he was in human form, I kept sneezing, just like today. My allergy only played up after that Luna girl joined us." Sam ran his slender fingers through his impressive mane. "You could be right. Still, the witch, and her familiar, seem to be on the good side. Should we confront them, or leave them be?" Dean ruffled his hair. "How about, we keep tabs on them. One hinkey death, one weird illness, and we come back. That way we can get the Hell out of here tomorrow." He finished his beer and threw himself on the bed. "I'm hitting the hay, Sam. How about you?" Sam got to his feet with difficulty and undressed. "Yeah. Me too. I'll take a Tylenol and try and get some sleep. That ankle is killing me." Dean chuckled. "You're such a girl, Sammy." Sam didn't respond, but Dean could imagine the Sam Winchester Special Bitchface he was getting. He didn't care. Sleep was curling it's gentle tendrils around him, and he gladly gave in.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Dean woke up, packed his stuff and got Baby ready to go, and Sam was still out cold. ' _Painkillers always did make him drowsy._ ' Dean thought fondly, watching the mop of tangled hair stick out of the sheets. Sam had snuggled his face right in the pillow and his hair was all Dean could see. ' _He seems smaller somehow._ ' Dean thought. He shrugged, picked up his duffelbag and put it in Baby's trunk. He was just closing the trunk, when he heard a scream from the room. "What the HELL?! DEAAAAN!" The most disturbing thing about the yell wasn't that it happened, but that it sounded like a woman. Dean ran back in, only to come to a screaching halt. In Sam's bed, there sat a woman. She was looking down at her body, her face a mask of confusion. When she heard Dean run in, she looked up, miserable. "Dean... I... I'm a freaking GIRL!" Dean closed his mouth, which had been standing open, and swallowed hard. "Sa... Sammy?! What the Hell, man?" The girl had Sam's hair and his eye colour, but also a shapely bosom, which was uncovered, since Sam liked to sleep in his boxers. "Ehm... Dude... Could you cover yourself?" Dean stammered. "It's distracting." Sam looked at him. "What?" Dean weakly gestured and Sam looked down. "Oh crap!" Quickly the sheets were hoisted up. "Dean, what did you do?" Dean shook himself. "Me? Why would it be me? Just as easily could have been you." Sam ran her fingers through her hair. "Whatever, dude." Wrapping the sheets around her body, Sam got up. Dean couldn't help it.. He stared. "Sam..." Irritated, Sam swirled around. "What?" she snapped. Dean grinned. "You take after mom... You're a babe!" Sam threw a pillow at him, grabbed clothes off a chair and stalked off into the bathroom. Seconds later Dean heard a disgusted yell. "Oh my GOD! EW!" Knocking on the door, Dean sweetly asked: "What is it, Sammy? Found your girly parts?" Something hit the door. "No, you pervert. Let's just say I now know why ladies are so hellbent on having the seat down." Helpless with silent laughter, Dean slid down the wall. When the door opened, he wiped his eyes and looked up, only to collapse again. Sam was wearing the clothes out of her personal duffelbag, but they were way to big. She was holding up her jeans with two hands, and yet the belt was tied. The plaid flannel of her shirt hung over her knees. "Very funny, Dean." Sam said in an icy voice. "Get on your feet. I want to check something." Hiccupping, Dean scrambled to his feet. Sam looked him over once or twice. "Crap. You're taller than me." Dean started to double over again. "Come on, dude. This isn't funny!" Sam stepped over to the bed Dean had used and bent down to look under it, providing Dean with a view of her behind. Dean sobered instantly. "What are you doing?" Even as a girl, Sam could make a great bitchface, and she used it to full capacity. "I need clothes, you ape. Mine are way too big, so I'll take some of yours." Dean grinned a nasty smile. "Tough, sweetheart. I already packed. My stuff is in Baby's trunk." Sam looked so utterly lost at that, that Dean relented. "I'll get you something, hang on..." Chuckling, he went outside and grabbed a shirt and some jeans. Sam took them gratefully and let her jeans drop. "Dude!" Dean yelled. "Bathroom, man! You're a girl, remember?" Blushing, Sam gathered her stuff and dashed into the bathroom. When she next came out, she looked somewhat presentable. Still there was an unhappy expression on her face. "Dean, we'll need to go shopping." she said softly, with a blush colouring her cheeks. "What? Why?" Fiddling with the seam of her shirt, Sam mumbled something unintelligeble. Dean grinned. "What's that?" Sam's face looked like it was on fire. "I need other underwear, allright? It's highly uncomfortable now. Things ride up, things chafe... It's just icky." Dean looked at her fascinated. "Is it that different?" She looked daggers at him. "Yes! And I'll need a bra, new shoes and socks. These things will never fit!" she snapped, indicating the size 13 1/2 boots. Chuckling, Dean helped Sam clear her stuff away. Later on, when they sat in the Impala and Sam adjusted her shirt, Dean shook his head and said: "Man, I wonder what the Hell we did to piss that witch off so bad."

They stopped on the parking lot at a small mall. Sam suddenly gasped. "Oh God! They're bound to ask my bra size... How should I know that? I never had boobs before!" Dean looked at her and flexed his hand. "Dude, don't get pissed, but I might be able to help." Sam wonderingly looked at him sideways. "What? How?" Dean ruffled his hair nervously. "Don't hit, ok?" Silently, Sam nodded. "Turn over here a bit, that's it... Now just keep your cool." he said and placed his hands around her ribs, thumbs just under her breasts. Sam's eyes widened. "Hmmmm. Thirtyyyyy... Six I'd say." Flabbergasted, Sam stared at him. "Dude... What the Hell?" Dean flashed a grin. "Hey, I have experience." He took one of her breasts in his hand. He softly squeezed and weighed it. "About a C-cup, I guess." Suddenly Sam slapped him. "Dude. What was that?" Dean exclaimed, holding his hand to his stinging cheek. Sam looked stunned too. "I..I.. I don't know. It was kind of a reflex, I think." Dean rubbed a bit and grumbled: "Scoot then. Go and get your freaking undies. Oh and shoes, size..." He glanced at her bare feet. "Six and a half, maybe seven." Sam shook her head. "Man, you're freaky sometimes." Dean grinned again. "You just say that to make me feel better." Sam frowned at him. "Did... Did you just... flirt with me?" she asked, repulsed. Dean frowned too. "Not consiously... I swear!" Sam rolled her eyes in a master eyeroll. "You are such a skirtchaser! Even your own brother isn't safe!" Still shaking her head, she trotted off to the mall. Dean blinked and watched her go. ' _God.. No. If I think about it, I get sick... Could it be that it's such a part of me that I even flirt with Sammy, because he's a she now?! Geez. I_ _am_ _a skirtchaser!_ ' Before long Sam returned, carrying several bags. "Geez Sam! I thought you went in for shoes, socks and underwear. What's all this?" She threw the bags on the backseat. "I can't keep wearing your stuff. A: you need it, and B: it doesn't quite fit. Further more, fed ladies don't wear suits like ours. By the way, you are a class A freak." Dean raised his eyebrows. "Seriously? What did I do?" Sam slid in the passengerseat. "You had those sizes on the nose. It's scary." Dean huffed. "Just be glad I did. No girl on Earth that doesn't know her bra or shoe size by heart. So you're ok now, in the undergarment department?" Sam tugged a bit at her shirt. "Not yet." Dean threw her a look. "What?! I couldn't very wel change right there, now could I?" Dean sighed. "All right then, girl. We'll go back to the motel. I'm glad we didn't check out yet." He turned Baby around and hit the road back where they came from.


	5. Chapter 5

Sam turned on the hot water in the shower. She felt her head pound softly and decided that a hot shower might just help relax a bit. She rummaged in one of the bags from the mall, taking out shampoo and showergel. Her new set of underwear lay on the sink and her new 'fed-suit' hung on the door. "Dean... If we're going to the witch, should we go fed? Or hunter?" she called out, striping of the jeans and shirt she'd borrowed of him. "Fed. She doesn't know, right?" Sam felt the water with her hand, wondering at the slender hand. "You're right, Dean. I just hope I can get into that stuff." She stepped under the shower, revelling in the warmth. "You realise we will have to introduce me as your new partner. What would you have happen to me?" Soap, lather, rince. "We'll ship you off on a family emergency. That always works." Dean answered through the door. ' _Oh God, this is so odd._ ' Sam thought as she washed herself. 'How do you even wash these private parts?' She winged it and grabbed the shampoo. ' _At least that is the same._ ' Sam thought as she rubbed the shampoo in her hair.

Dean took a sip of his beer to wash down the allergy pill he took, waiting for Sam to come out of the bathroom. He was thinking how his father would have reacted and grinned. ' _Seriously, Dad. You should see him... her, now. I guess when your gender gets magically swapped, you keep your looks_.' He sat down on the bed. "Come on, Sammy! We're waisting daylight!" From the bathroom came muffled swearing. Dean got to his feet. "What's going on in there?" The door opened a slit, and Sam's dishevelled face peeked through. "Promise you won't laugh." she demanded, which on it's own was enough to tickle Dean's funny bone. He snorted, bit his lip and forced himself to stop. "What's wrong then?" She opened the door further, showing her holding up the bra, cups in place, straps over her shoulders, but the back undone. Dean bit down on his lip so hard, he thought he could taste blood. "Need a hand?" he squeaked. "No, I'm just peachy... What does it look like?" She sighed when Dean snorted with laughter again. "Please, man... I know how to undo these things, no problem... But to hook them up, behind your own back... That crap is tough!" Dean wiped his eyes. "Allright, dude... Only because we're not getting any younger. But you gotta learn for yourself." He hooked up the bra and patted Sam on the shoulder. "There you go. Now put the rest on, and let's go." Sam sighed. "Thanks, Dean. I bet that was the toughest part." How wrong she was. Another five minutes passed and Dean got less and less amused. "I thought the bra was the toughest, Sam! What are you doing in there?" His only answer was a muffled yell and the sound of something falling. ' _Screw this! I'm going in!_ ' Dean thought alarmed, and he barged through the door. Sam sat on the floor, blouse on crooked, skirt hoisted up her thighs and her pantyhose on one leg and halfway up the other. Dean put his fist in his mouth not to start laughing. With a strained voice he asked: "You ok, Sam?" She fixed him with a poisonous glare. "Ok. Ok. Let me help." Dean said soothingly. He helped Sam up and shook his head. "What the Hell have you done, man? You look like you've gone ten rounds against 'the Miz'." Sam brushed her tangled hair out of her face. "Womens clothing is designed by Crowley, I swear! Pantyhoses are impossible! And then that skirt, the blouse, with the boobs... Seriously, dude.. We have got to get that witch to reverse the spell!" Dean had a fleeting mental image of Crowley standing at a drawingboard going: "No, no, no, no. If we put the buttons like thìs... They'll never get them done right! The poor tarts will sell their soul to learn the secrets." He snorted, earning him another glare. "Come on then. I'll dress you up. The day is halfway gone by now." It only took them a few minutes and they were off, after a last struggle of Sam to get into Baby with a tight skirt on, causing Dean to really draw blood biting his lip this time.

They were just on the side road, running into the woods, when Baby blew a tire. Cussing, Dean pulled her over. "Seriously? This is really getting annoying! Hand me a set of normal clothes, willya, Sammy? I'm not getting grease and grime all over the suit. It's a bitch to get out." Sam dug out the required clothes and Dean took off his jacket and tie. He was already unbuttoning his dress shirt, when he paused, eyeing Sam uncertainly. "What? What's wrong, Dean?" she asked. "I don't know, man. It feels weird." Sam arched her eyebrows and Dean looks down awkwardly. "Usually when I undress with a girl around, we're... Ehm.." Sam threw up her hands. "Stop it right there. I'm not a real girl, right? Besides, I know you. Hell, I've washed your corpse. Several times. Get on with it!" The rebuke sobered Dean up. This was still Sam. Still his baby brother, with whom he had been though Hell and back. "Thanks, Sam. I needed that reminder." He changed his clothes and got to work. It wasn't long before a guy in a blue tracksuit came by, jogging. "Got a flat, man." he noted, jogging in place. Dean's eyes shot green fire at him. "Yeah, I know." The jogger stretched his legs and neck and said: "That sucks, dude." before jogging off again at a slow pace. Dean fixed the jack in place with a violent movement and muttered: "Jackass!" Sam, who was leaning against Baby's hood, had her eyes on the jogger, and then it happened. She saw the jogger fall down on all fours and convulse. "Dean!" she yelled. "He's in trouble!" Dean dropped the socketwrench and looked at where Sam was pointing. There stood a jackass, in a blue tracksuit. It bayed. "What the actual Hell?" Dean walked over to the animal. It backed up a bit, whipping it's tail. Sam came over too. "Oh my god, Dean... I think you did this..." Dean looked affronted. "What?! Why is it always my fault?" he demanded. Sam held up her hands placatingly. "No, dude, listen... I think the witch hexed you. You called me a girl last night, just before we went to sleep, right? Well, look at me... And you just called him a jackass..." Dean looked at her sideways. "Don't think I didn't hear you. Besides, I know you too well." Dan looked at the baying animal. "Awe crap, man... I didn't mean to... I mean..." He ruffled his hair agitated. "That bitch!" Sam looked shocked. "Dean! You idiot!" He looked at her innocently. "What?" Sam sighed internally. "I think you just turned our witch into a... bitch." Dean blinked and looked at Sam uncertainly. "You... You think so? Oh crap..." Seeing her brother starting his whole 'I'm-to-blame-for-everything-wrong-in-our-stinkin'-lives' mode, Sam relented. "Maybe, maybe... Maybe the victim needs to be close to you... Maybe the witch is ok." Dean rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. "Well, only one way to find out." he said and went back to work on the blown tire.


	6. Chapter 6

Luna and Abigail were drinking tea, when suddenly Abigail gagged and dropped to the floor. "Abby? Abby! What's happening?" Luna felt panick rise in her throat like bile, while she watched Abigail twitch. Slowly Abigail changed. Her tawny hair shortened and spread out over her body and face. Her hands and feet became paws, and before long, a longhaired dog stood in the livingroom. Luna gasped. "Oh no! Abby! I'm betting that this is the result of the Winchesters having your hexbag. Great Gods! Now what do we do? You never told me how to undo that hex!" The dog looked at her and wagged her tail. Fighting down her natural aversion to dogs, Luna patted the dog on her head. "Well, I'd better hit the grimoires then. See what I can find." She looked at the books, lining the walls of the livingroom. "This might take a while, Abby." she sighed, and took down the first book. She was just opening the second book, when a knock came on the door. Luna packed away the grimoires, and opened the door. Dean Winchester and a pretty lady with shoulderlength brown hair, both in impressive suits, stood at the door. "Dea... Agent.." Luna caught herself. "Young." Dean reminded her. "And this is my new partner, agent Joplin. Agent Johnson had to go home. Family emergency." He peeked around her shoulder. "Is ms. Rose in?" Luna panicked. "Ehm.. Well... Er... She.. She's kinda... Busy. Yeah, busy, right now. So maybe..." The lady next to Dean suddenly looked at her knowingly. "Something happend to her, am I right?" Correctly interpreting Luna's silence, she, unladylike, punched Dean on the shoulder. "You..." She halted, pinched the bridge of her nose and visibly contained herself. "She turned into a dog, didn't she?" she asked in defeated tones. Luna gaped at her. "How..." she started, but the lady interupted. "Just let us in, Luna, please." Stunned, Luna opened the door and Dean and the lady walked past her. In the livingroom, the lady squated down next to Abby and scratched her behind the ear. "Guess we're in this together, ms. Rose." Dean cleared his throat meaningfully. "Agent Joplin..." The 'agent' looked up, nonplussed. Dean bobbed his head sideways, but to no avail. Luna came in just in time to hear him whisper audibly: "Get up, man. A girl doesn't squat like that, not in a skirt." Hurridly, the lady got up. Luna blinked, processing all she had seen and heard. "Hang on..." She looked from one to the other. "Oh heck no..." She plopped into a chair, putting her head in her hand. "This has all gone south, hasn't it?"

Dean looked at Sam, who looked equally puzzled. The teen just sighed and rubbed at her head. "Look, guys, let's forgo all the pretences. I know who you are, and I'm guessing you have figured out what the situation here is." She looked up. "Taking into account that Sam is the one changed, I'm guessing you, Dean, have the hexbag." Dean looked at Sam, his whole face radiating 'what-the-hell'. "Hexbag?" Sam asked. "What hexbag?" Luna got up and patted down Dean. "Oh, great. Not on you." She sighed. Finally Dean got his act together. "Now you hang on here, little lady. How do you know our names?" Luna looked at him with that typical teenager look. The one that says 'And you're supposed to be the older, and wiser one.' She sighed. "When you were here yesterday, your allergies played up, right? And in that moment, just for a second, you both forgot your act. You called 'agent Johnson'..." Her fingers placed the air quotes. "...Sam, and he called you Dean. No witch, black or white, that doesn't know that those names together spell Winchester." The Winchesters looked like they'd been busted. "So, why did you take the hexbag?" Dean put his hands in his pockets. "Look, Luna, I'm glad we can level here, but I don't know what hexbag you mean. The remnants in the clearing had been used, so they were kicked." Luna looked positively alarmed. "You don't know? Oh my Goddess! You must have accidently taken it then. Who knows where it is now, or who you've insulted by now!" Sam put her hand on Luna's knee. "Allright. Calm down. Obviously you know what the bag does. Do you know how to reverse the effects?" Luna shook her head in defeat. "Maybe we just have to destroy it." Dean offered. The dog, who had been lying down contently at Sam's feet, suddenly bolted straight up and barked. Luna looked at it. "I don't think that's a good idea, is it Abby?" The dog shook it's head. "Then what?" Dean asked, sounding slightly desperate. Sam patted his shoulder consolingly. "We could call Cas, see if he knows anything." Dean looked at her, pleading. "D'ya think?" Sam cocked an eyebrow. "Come on, Dean. It isn't your fault. Make the call." Dean sighed. "Allright then... Castiël, please, we're kind of in a situation here. I pray you get us the Hell out of it." Luna looked at Sam questioningly, who motioned her to be patient. With the sound of feathers, Cas appeared. "Dean... Wait... Who are these ladies? Do they know?" Dean rubbed his neck. "Well... This is Luna. Luna, this is Cas, our friend, who also happens to be an angel." Luna's eyes widened. "A what?" Sam smiled at her reaction. "An angel. Heya Cas." Cas looked at her, then at Dean. "Dean... What... Have I met this young lady before?" Sam rolled her eyes. "Cas, look at me, look at me properly." Cas turned towards her, his cerulean eyes taking in the body, the hair, and finally the eyes. Cas' own eyes widened in shock. "Sam?! Is that you? Dean... What happened to your brother?" Dean rolled his eyes. "Why does every one assume I'm the one who did this?" Cas tilted his head. "Because it usually is, Dean. I'm sorry." he said, his gravelly voice a little amused. Before Dean could start on Cas, Sam stepped in. "We probably have picked up a hexbag by accident. I don't know what it does exactly, but I'm pretty sure Luna does." Luna shook herself. "Abby told me it turns anyone you insult, into the thing you called them, within minutes." Cas looked at Dean accusingly. "Why would you call Sam a woman?" Dean looked at him, his green eyes narrowed. "I called him a girl, because he was being a..." Sam, with astounding presence of mind, clapped her hand over his mouth. "I'm sure you don't want to finish that sentence, Dean." Dean's eyes shot green fire, but he nodded. Sam took her hand off. "Anyway, that explains the jackass, and ms. Rose here. I'm sorry to say, my brother called you a... bitch." Sam said apologeticly to the dog and sent her the best puppy eyes she had. The dog licked her fingers, trotted over to Dean and nuzzled his hand. Dean squatted down to her and scratched her ears. "I think she understands that I didn't mean for this to happen." Cas smiled. "You have changed your ways with dogs, Dean." he noted. "Well, mindmelding with a German shepard gives you a different perspective on dogs." Dean answered him. Cas shook his head. "You two always get in the weirdest situations. Wait, what jackass?"


	7. Chapter 7

Luna looked up from the grimoire she was studying, to see Sam licking her thumb and flipping a page, Dean frowning at what he was reading and the angel, Cas staring intently at the page in front of him. She put her book down and said: "You guys are amazing. Instead of threatening me, torturing me or simply killing me, you help me do research." Dean, looking glad to have a break, raised his eyebrows. "Why on Earth would we want to do any of those things? It's clear you don't know, or you would have released Abigail by now. And killing would be very unhelpful. Besides, the research still needs to be done." Luna smiled at him. "Well, I for one, am glad the stories aren't true." Dean blinked at her. "What stories?" Luna blushed. "The ones that say you two are coldblooded killers, who kill you before asking questions." Dean chuckled. "We learned that doing that is the sure way to have to do all the research on your own... Cas?" The angel looked up. "Hm? What is it, Dean?" Luna loved his deep, gravelly voice and beautiful blue eyes. "If we could get you the hexbag, could you figure out a counter curse?" Cas looked thoughtful. "Maybe." Dean closed his book with a snap. "Well, then I'm off to the motel, see if I can find it." Luna couldn't blame him for trying to get out. Research was boring! "Wait..." She suddenly remembered something. "Try looking in your jacket pockets. You bumped into the sidetable there. That was where I last saw the hexbag. It might have fallen into your pocket then." Dean looked at her appreciatively. "Good call, Luna." He winked at her and left. Luna felt a swooping sensation in her stomach and she let out her breath in a shaky sigh. "Really, Sam, is it mandatory for your family and friends to be so handsome? I mean, you, the male you, and Dean gave me weak knees, and now Cas as well." Sam blushed, but Luna pressed on, not noticing the tilt of Cas' head or the small smile he gave her. "I wonder if all Winchesters and honorary Winchesters are such lookers." Sam had turned very red by now and just mumbled.

Cas sniggered and answered for him. "I have seen both their father and their paternal grandfather, when they were not much older than Sam is now, and I must concur. The male Winchesters are blessed with very good looks. As for my looks, I'm sorry to say, that is just my vessel. I am blessed with a vessel that has very nice genes." Luna burst out laughing. "I like you, Cas. Is that short for something?" Sam cleared her throat, looking happy at the change of subject. "It stands for Castiël. That is his real name, but Dean, being Dean, has shortened it." Luna looked at Cas. "Why? I think it's a pretty name." Cas smiled at her, and her stomach did a flip. "I don't know. I think it's a sign of affection. He calls his brother Sammy sometimes, even though he prefers to be called Sam. Which I think is odd, because his full name is Samuel." Sam threw him a bitchface. "I don't want to be called that. Samuel was a grade A bastard!" That was the moment Dean chose to walk back in. "Geez Sammy, lighten up. The guy is dead." Sam shot him a glare. "He was still a bastard and I don't want to be reminded of him." Dean shrugged off his jacket. "Allright already. Don't bite my head off. Are you on your period or something?" Sam blanched instantly. "Oh. My. GOD!" she uttered. Dean stepped up to her, putting a worried hand on her shoulder. "What's wrong?" She looked at him, helpless. "I'm going to have those now, aren't I?" Dean blinked, and Luna wasn't sure wether he would start laughing of freak out. "That's ok, Sam, really. It won't be fun, and it will be icky, but it only happens once even 28 days." Sam looked at her uncertainly, and Luna thought she had eased her mind a bit, but then Cas had to chime in. "The average human female has her period for about four to five days. During that time you will lose about 60 to 75 milliliters of fluïd." Sam turned green. "Oh... GOD!" Luna glared daggers at Cas. "Not to worry, honey. We'll break the hex before you have to go through that, promise." Dean, who looked about as bad as Sam did, placed the purple hexbag on the table. "Yeah, Sammy. I got the bag, so you'll be back to your sasquatch self in no time. Here, Cas. Have a go!" Cas, looking bewildered, took the bag and opened it. "Hm. Mainly herbs... A scroll... I think I will have to look something up at the Bunker." And with that he was gone. "Is he alway like that?" Luna asked the Winchesters. "Like what? Socially awkward? Pretty much. It used to be worse, right, Sam?" Sam just nodded. "Did you just call me 'honey'?" she asked.

Luna looked awkward. "I guess I did... I just reacted like my mom used to, whenever me or my sister were almost freaking out." Dean looked thoughtful. "I think it's a woman thing. Whenever another woman or a child looks scared, they go 'honey' or 'sweetheart' to them. It seems to comfort. I watched Lisa do that a few times." Sam looked at him, worried that he still couldn't say Lisa's name without getting that haunted look for a second. "Yeah. Jess used to do that a lot too, with guys also. I guess it's a protective instinct or something." Luna pulled a face. "Oh Gods! I'm sixteen and now I'm already mothering?" That did it. Sam burst out laughing. "Don't worry, I think it really is an instinctive reaction to anyone being hurt or scared. And besides, I think you would be a great mom." She stuck out her tongue. "Well, then I'll be a motherhen. Iced tea anyone?" she snapped and stalked into the kitchen. Dean watched her go. "Man, I really hope we can reverse this thing before you get a period. I'd hate to be on a hunt and you get all moody and stuff." At that time, Cas appeared again. "Moody? Why would Sam be moody?" Dean jumped. "Geez Cas! Cough or something. Did you find anything?" Cas dropped the hexbag on the table again. "A bit. It does do what the girl said, but I couldn't find a reverse spell or anything like that." Sam's face fell. "That doesn't mean there is no way to reverse this." Cas quickly added. Dean felt disappointed too, and as usual, he vented it by getting sarcastic. "That's just peachy. Well, only good thing is that that Hell monkey Crowley doesn't know this." Sam and Cas gasped. "Dean!" they called in unison. Dean looked surprised. "What?" Sam rolled her eyes. "You don't even realise you're doing it, do you?" Dean blinked. "What's Squirrel doing this time?" a smooth voice with a British accent asked. Cas jumped in front of everyone, slipping his Angelblade out. "Back down, Castiël." Crowley said, smoothing his lapel. "I just have some questions for the Hardy boys." He looked around. "So, Squirrel, where's Moo.. Ooo. Oook. Ook ook ook." In front of their astounded eyes, Crowley had turned into a monkey. Albeit one with firey eyes and a tail that ended in a three pronged fork. Cas threw Dean an exasperated look. "Well. There you have your Hell monkey, Dean." The little critter climbed up the table and sat there eyeing them all with a nasty look.

Luna came in the livingroom with a tray of iced tea. "I thought I heard Castiël return, so I... What in the name of everything is that?!" Sam took the tray. "That is the result of my brother, not being able to mind his tongue. It used to be the King of Hell, but thanks to Dean, it is now a Hell monkey." Luna sat down. "I'm going to need therapy after this..." Cas picked up the monkey, which hissed evily at him. "I will take this thing to the bunker and put it in the dungeon for now." He bent down and picked up the clothes that were lying there. "And these too. If we reverse the spell, I really do not wish to see Crowley without his usual suit and tie." With at, he was gone again. Luna looked at Dean. "You have a dungeon?" He nodded. "And Cas is going to put the King of Hell in the dungeon?" Sam drank her iced tea. "He won't mind... much. He's been there before. Several months actually. Which makes me wonder, Dean. You think that Hell monkies will be held by a Devilstrap?" Luna took a gulp of iced tea. Dean chuckled. "I don't know, Sammy. But Cas will find out for us, so no worries." With the flutter of wings, Cas returned, sporting a nasty scratch on his cheek. "That took care of that for now. I would advice you, Dean, to really watch your tongue from now on. I am glad the Devilstrap works on Hell spawned animals too. Crowley was in a foul mood." He put his finger on his cheek and healed himself. "Ohhhh okaaayyy... That is handy. But seriously guys... I'm having a little difficulty here." Luna gasped. Dean looked at her sympatheticly. "With what? The fact that there are demons and angels? That's just normal folk on steroids, so to say. Actually, most angels are really di..." "Dean!" Sam yelled. Dean blinked. "... Not very nice." he amended. Cas breathed in relief. "Close call, brother. I'm betting Cas would rather not find half his siblings turned into genatalia." Sam grinned. "You are right, Sam. That would be very unsettling." Cas tilted his head. "Should I stay around, to keep you from running your mouth, Dean?" Dean frowned. "No. I can manage, don't worry." Luna watched them banter. "Actually..." she interupted. "... I'm having the most difficulties with how casually you are dealing with this. That monkey was The King. Of Hell. And you just chuck him in a dungeon you have, which is apparently built to hold devils and such." Dean beamed at her. "Yup." She shook her head. "And you're not worried that his minions will come looking for him?"


	8. Chapter 8

As if that was a sign, there was pounding at the door. Sam and Dean exchanged glances. "Oh crap..." Dean looked around. "Does this place have a backdoor?" Luna nodded. "Then that will be covered." he concluded. "There's a cellar.." Luna offered. "Can you see the entrance from the outside?" She shook het head. "Perfect!" Sam, Dean and Cas huddled together, quietly discussing strategy. "Winchesters! What happened to the King? He told us to come looking for him if he hadn't checked in within twenty." Dean called out: "How should I know? He's not here. Maybe he's fallen off the wagon!" This was met with cries of outrage, and Dean smirked. "Look, I'll gladly fight you lot, but we've got civillians here. Can we let them go?" The demons guffawed. "Guess that's a no." Dean sarcastically stated. In the mean time, Cas had poofed away and Sam had snuck out the cellar. "I'm going to kick all of your asses, and you won't know what hit you." One demon was smarter than the rest, and it called: "You keep saying 'I'. Is your little brother not in today?" Dean winked at Luna again. "Guess we have the smart kid with us today! You stay put, you hear me?" Luna shook her head. "I'm out!" she whispered and morphed into her catform. "Smart kid." Dean smiled. A new idea formed in his head. "Abigail, Luna, go, out the cellar." he hissed. Both dog and cat scarpered. "Hey, you black eyed..demons." Dean cringed, it sounded soooo lame. "Bet you can't find me!" he yelled, and dashed through the cellar and outside, before the demons crashed though the door. ' _Sorry, Abigail. I owe you a new front door._ ' He saw Sam and Cas standing in the trees surrounding a nearby clearing, and ran towards them. Inwardly, Dean was glad that he, Sam and Cas had been through so much together. They accepted changes of plan without a hitch. Dean halted, smack dab in the middle of the clearing. "Hey!" he yelled. "Told ya you couldn't find me!" The demons filed out the busted door again and before he could blink, Dean was surrounded by about seven of them. "Well now, couldn't handle me alone? You had to bring so much friends?" Dean scoffed and he pulled out his Kurd knife. "You're not scared of me, are you?" The demons grinned and closed in.

Suddenly, two of them lit up from the inside, as Cas put his hands on their skulls and smote them. Two more suddenly faceplanted when Sam swiped their feet from under them. Dean used the distraction to slit the throat of one more, before planting the knife into one of the two Sam swiped. The other rolled away just in time, but Sam punched it to keep it down. One thing she forgot: as a girl, her musclepower was much less than she was used to. The demon sported a beautifully broken nose, but he remained consious. It grinned evily, hit Sam around the temple, and she went down. "Sam!" Dean hollered and threw the demon that had clung on to his back, over his head, stabbing it in succession. Cas had killed his last demon and popped up behind the demon, that now stradled Sam's unconsious body. He smote it without blinking. Dean landed on his knees next to his unconsious brother. "Shit Sammy." he said when he saw the matted blood in her hair. His voice trembled. "It is going to be fine, Dean. I will heal Sam. We might need him... Her. One got away to warn others. There are more coming." Dean growled like a wounded animal. "Let them come... I'm ready. You get Sammy and the other ladies to the motel. I'll follow in Baby." Cas put a hand on his shoulder. "Dean..." He looked at his best friend and patted the hand on his shoulder. "I'll be fine, Cas. Trust me. I've got a plan and not one of these... demons will get away to tell anything." His green eyes were as hard as the gems they often got compared to, and Cas knew Dean meant business. He was on the warpath. "Allright, Dean. But please be careful. Sam and I do not wish to lose you, again." Dean smiled a crooked smile and Cas smiled back. "Abigail, Luna, come, we will wait for Dean at the motel." The cat and dog trotted to his side and he picked them up, an unconsious Sam slung over his shoulder. "Don't be long. Sam will want to know you are ok." Dean tossed his knife from one hand to the other. "Come on, go, you big... angel." Cas smiled and was gone. Dean could hear the next wave of demons creep nearer. "We saw the angel leave, Winchester. You're all alone now..." Dean did a quick count and smiled grimly. "Oh yeah? Is that why you brought even more of your... kind this time? I'm starting to think you are scared of me." The demons circled him and it looked like they were definitely on the winning side this time. The demon that got away the first time stood back a little, ready to have Dean slaughter every one of his companions before smoking out again. " Dean caught it's eye and grinned, making the smug look on it's face slide off. "You know, I'm 100% certain that this time, not one of you will get that chance to get more friends... You maggots!" Dean spat out the last two words, glad to finally be able to cuss again. The demon blinked, unsure what just happened. Within two seconds it understood, as it started to shrink and transform. Grinning like a pumpkin, Dean picked up the dozen maggots that slithered around the clearing and put them on the birdfeeder tray in Abigail's yard. He started walking towards his beloved Baby, whistling as he went. Just once did he look back, only to see two Bluejays and a Magpie picking away at the feeder.


	9. Chapter 9

Sam paced the motelroom, running her fingers nervously through her hair. ""You're sure he said he'd have it?" she asked Cas for the umpteenth time. Cas rolled his eyes. "Yes, Sam. He was very confident, and if you had seen the look in his eyes, you would be too." She looked out the window to the parking lot, again, and sighed. "Yeah, but you're talking about Dean here. He can..." The familiar rumbling of the Impala's engine cut her short. She shot outside and as soon as Dean got out, she hugged him tightly. After which, she punched him in the shoulder. "Hey! What the Hell, Sam!" She fixed him with a super bitchface. "You ass. You had me worried sick!" Dean's shiteating grin appeared. "I told Cas I had it. Now let's get inside. I don't feel like telling the tale more than once." In the motelroom, Cas and Luna sat, waiting patiently, while Abigail slept on Dean's bed. He looked at her once and shook his head. "Sam, you know I don't like dogs on my bed." Sam just rolled her eyes and took a chair. "Shuddup. Now, tell us, how did you get rid of those demons so quickly? The way Cas told us, there were even more coming." Dean looked around, seeing every face turned to him. "Only about a dozen or so." Sam blanched and put a trembling hand to her mouth. "That's almost double the amount!" Dean frowned at her. "Yeah, so? I had a plan. I had them surrounding me, and I kept them talking, until I saw them all. Then I just called them maggots." Cas started laughing. "So simple. I bet it was effective though!" Dean grinned at him, his eyes sparkling with mirth. "Sure was! I just picked them up and fed them to the birds." That got Sam and she started laughing until she cried. Suddenly the laughter died and she just cried. Dean and Cas looked at her, startled. "Sam... Sammy. Heyheyhey, what's wrong?" Bewildered, Dean sank to his knees, next to the sobbing girl that was his brother. Sam couldn't answer. She just sobbed and hiccupped. "Oh boy..." Luna grabbed the tissues from the bedstand. "Guys... Leave this to me. I think the female hormones have caught up with Sam. She is just overwhelmed and doesn't quite know what's going on. Am I right, honey?" Sam nodded and burried her head in her hands. "Right, boys... Outside... Wait... First: a nightgown?" Dean shrugged, but Sam silently indicated a plaid shirt, hanging over a chair. Luna made a face. "Seriously?" More nodding. Luna shrugged. "Allright then, your choice. So, like I said: boys... Out." Dean spluttered, but the idea of hanging around while the girls did 'girltalk' scared him enough to give in. "I'm going for a beer. Coming, Cas?" Cas looked uncertain. "Dean, technically, I am not a boy." Dean grabbed him by the arm and started towards the door. "Semantics, Cas. Do you really want to hang around while the girls 'emote'? 'Cause I definitely don't!" And with that, Dean pushed the struggling angel outside and closed the door. Luna smiled and shook her head. "Come on, Sam. We'll get you into your... nightgown. And then we talk, ok?" Sam nodded and Luna helped her undress.

Several hours later, Dean and Cas stood outside the motelroom, the first slightly inibriated, the latter sober and both worried. Luna came out and shut the door softly. "Allright. She's asleep, but I found something out." Dean gulped. This could spell trouble with a capital T. "So, thanks to the female hormones, Sam really was worried sick. Her male memories told her that you'd be ok, but hormones don't give a hoot about that. Call it motherly feelings." Dean looked confused. "So that's what the hugging and then hitting was all about?" Luna grinned at his stunned face. "Oh HELLS yeah. A mother, whose toddler puts a pencil in the wallsocket, will first hug the kid for being fine, and then scold it for trying to get electrocuted." Cas bit his lip, trying to figure this out. "So, Sam was not really hurt?" Luna smiled at him like a mother who sees her two year old solve a puzzle. "No, Cas. She was just overwhelmed by emotions she never had before. Males tend to see things in a different way. And since Sam used to be male, the female way confused her immensely." Dean, in his befuddled state, drew a conclusion. "So now Sammy will always be a woman, because the hormones caught up?" Luna hadn't thought of it that way, and she looked stumped. "I... I actually don't know." Dean looked forlorn, and Cas, with unparalelled understanding of his friend's mind, said to Luna: "Why don't you get Abigail and then I can take the two of you home for the night. You all need sleep. I think Dean needs some time alone too." Luna looked at the greeneyed, tipsy man and agreed silently. He looked awfully upset. She whistled for Abigail, picked her up and let Cas fly them off. Dean hardly noticed them go. He stumbled into the room and sat down next to the sleeping form of Sam. Painfully familiar, yet infinitely alien. Dean felt his eyes sting and he was glad Sam was out cold. "Sammy..." He wiped a strand of hair out of her face. The hair looked and felt the same as always, but the face was all wrong. Dean sighed. "Geez, Sammy. I never wanted this. How am I supposed to be ok with this? I've just stopped worrying so much about you, because, hey, you're a strong moose of a guy. You've shown me time and again that you can handle stuff, but now... Now you're weaker. No offence man, but if you, the old you, had clocked that demon, it would have been k.o. for an hour at least..." Dean shuddered at the memory of the demon towering over Sam. That broke him. Tears started dripping down his face. "I'm sorry, Sammy... I'm so, so sorry. I'm sorry for calling you a girl, I'm sorry for calling that ignorant jogger a jackass and I'm sorry for calling Abigail a bitch... Hell, I'm even sorry for turning Crowley into a Hell monkey... I just wish I could turn it all back." Sam turned over in her sleep and Dean just sat there, watching her tearstained face twitch in dreams. After a while he sighed, wiped at his own tears and went to bed, hoping that being a woman would grow on Sam, and that he, Dean, could handle having a sister.


	10. Chapter 10

"Dean. Dean..." Dean didn't even open his eyes. His mind was fuzzy and he just needed a bit more sleep. "Go way, Sam. Unless it's an emergency, I don't wanna know." The warm, deep rumble of Sam's chuckles made him open his eyes. Something was odd... His mind was still hazy, but something... Dean shot up and looked around. "Sam!" Sam nodded, spreading his arms wide to show. His arms! Dean's heart jumped. He had his gargantuan brother back! "Geez, Sammy, it's good to see that goofy smile of yours again!" He got up and hugged his brother, pulling him down into his arms, as he always had to. "It's good to be back, Dean..." Sam mumbled into Dean's shoulder. The brothers broke apart. "Ehm, Sam... What happened to your underware?" Sam chuckled again. "Sorry. It ripped I guess." Dean winced. "Get decent, you sasquatch." Sam grabbed his duffelbag and retreated to the bathroom. While he was in there, Cas dropped in. "Dean, I think we may have had a stroke of luck." Dean decided to let him talk. "Yeah? What's that, Cas?" Cas narrowed his eyes at Dean's casual tone, but carried on. "I wanted to make sure Luna and Abigail were allright, so I stayed with them during the night. To make sure that the demons did not return. And this morning, Abigail had returned to her human form!" Dean looked at him, genuinely surprised. "Really? Wow! That's great news!" Cas beamed. "Is it not? I hope that this means Sam..." At that moment Sam came out of the bathroom, drying his hair. "That Sam what? Heya Cas!" Cas widened his eyes. "Sam! You are... You! I am so glad! Not that the female you was not you, but..." Sam chuckled at the helpless way Cas tried to tell him that he was glad all was back to normal. "It's ok, buddy. I know what you mean. And I can tell you that it's great to be me again." A knock came to the door. Dean opened the door and let Luna and Abigail in. "Good morning ladies." he greeted them. "Goodmorning, Dean. I'm glad to see Sam in his normal body again." Abigail answered. Dean closed the door. "Yeah, about that... How come? I mean, was the spell temporary or something?"

Abigail sat down in a chair, eyeing the men, and angel. "No. There is only one thing that can undo the working of the hexbag. You have to show genuine remorse." Dean blushed as he remembered the appology he had given his sleeping sibling. Sam's eyebrows shot up. "When did you do that?" he asked his brother. "Shuddup!" Dean scoffed, but Abigail wouldn't let him off. "Seriously, Dean. What did you say? One "I'm sorry" wouldn't reverse the spell, let alone on me and Sam simultaniously." Dean threw his head back and rolled his eyes. Seemed he would have to bite the bullet. "Allright then. Last night, I was a bit upset, and I said to Sam, while he was sleeping, that I was sorry. Sorry for calling him a girl, sorry for calling that jogger a jackass, and sorry for calling you a bitch." Luna smiled at his uneasy glance towards Abigail. "And the King?" she suddenly asked. Abigail looked nonplussed. **"** King? What king?" But Sam's eyes had widened in understanding. "Oh crap... Crowley!" Dean sighed resignedly. "He'll be fine. I said I was even sorry for turning him into a Hell monkey." Cas smiled proudly at Dean. "Now that is true remorse." Suddenly he realised something. "Oh no. I better go release him from he dungeon then!" Sam and Dean shared a look. "Naah, we'll let him out when we get back home. He did set those demons on us." Sam decided. Abigail shook her head. "Still not sure what king, but I don't think I want to know. Dean, do you still have the hexbag?" Dean pulled it out of his jacket pocket. "Good. Now, as far as you know, did you insult anybody else?" Dean thought deeply. "Apart from the demons, no. Not that I know." She took the bag from him and sighed. "Let's hope you're right. Do you have a lighter?" Dean produced his lighter and Abigail held the flame under the hexbag. "I disse flammene faring magi, så sier Loke!" she called and the hexbag ignited into purple flames with a 'poof'. She dropped the smoldering remnants into an ashtray. "There. The spell is undone, and anybody you did insult is screwed. No more turning people into stuff, but no more turning back either. The flames took the magic along." Dean clapped his hands. "Great! Now let's get the Hell out of Dodge, Sammy." he called and started packing his bag. Sam shook his head. "Sorry ladies, I guess he really wants to go home. And I actually agree with him. Stay on the right track, and you won't see us again." Abigail and Luna nodded and hugged the hunters goodbye. Cas took Abigail by the arm and asked her softly: "Could we speak later, please?" She nodded.

When the hunters had pulled onto the highway, Abigail and Luna returned home. When they got into the livingroom, Cas stood there, with his head tilted. "Abigail, was that Norwegian?" he asked. Abigail looked somewhat surprised. "Why yes, how do you know?" Cas smiled sadly. "Let's just say I know someone with Scandinavian ties. So you often use the Norse pantheon in your work?" Luna frowned and Abigail looked at him wonderingly. "Ehm... I do... Why?" Again that sad smile. "It is not of import. Could you do me a favour, and next time you make that kind of hexbag, before asking the blessing on your spell, add this line: "Castiël hilsen Loke og sender sin broderlig kjærlighet." I would really appreciate it." Abigail shrugged. "Sure, if it doesn't harm anyone." Cas smiled, a real smile is time. "It will not. I shall write it down for you." He took a pen and scribbled a note which he gave to Abigail. "Thank you." he sincerely said, and was gone. "I wonder what that was all about." Abigail said to Luna as they started cleaning up the mess the demons had left.

 **A.N. As you might notice, this story is rolling towards the end. I hope my Norwegian isn't far of the mark. It is not my native tongue, so I let technology help me. The next post will be the end, I think. Thank you, ladysakura31, for your review. And thank you to every one reading, following and favoring. It makes my day, to get notifications like that. Love from Holland.**


	11. Chapter 11

Back in Lebanon, Sam and Dean were walking down the hallway to the dungeon, when they heard Crowley's voice echo up to them. "Moose! Squirrel! You halfwit apes! I'll set a legion of demons on your collective asses. Let me out of this hole! You're not going to keep me in here again." Sam sighed, as he was preparing to open up the dungeon. "Well, he's back to his cheerfull self again too." Dean chuckled. "You two dumbassed, featherbrained, ignorant jackasses will pay for this!" Dean put a hand on Sam's biceps. "Hang on there, Sam." he whispered. Sam stopped, eyeing his brother suspiciously. Dean's eyes twinkled maliciously. "Let's leave him for just a bit longer. I'm going to make a little call first." Curious, Sam followed his now chuckling brother back to the library. He watched as Dean dialed a number from a piece of paper. "Abigail? Dean Winchester. Yeah, I know... Listen.. I've got a favour to ask..." Sam started to chuckle, then laugh out loud. "Yeah, Cas will pick it up then. Thanks Abby!" As he disconnected, he looked at Sam with a grin to match his brother's laughter. "We're going to have fun! Cas... Are your ears on, buddy?" With the sound of a wingbeat, Cas appeared. "When do I turn them off, Dean?" Seeing Sam, hanging in a chair, gasping for air, he got alarmed. "Sam? Dean... You just got back! How did you land yourselves in trouble so soon?" Sam slid off the chair, crying with silent laughter. Dean started to chuckle too, much to Cas' dismay. "Really! Dean, I do not think this is funny... You should not laugh! Unless you are affected too..." A note of panick crept into his voice. Dean bit his lip painfully, to stop. "Nothing wrong, Cas. Sam is just having anticipated fun." Cas tilted his head in the way he always does when he's confused. "I'm hatching a scheme for Crowley, and Sam can foresee the outcome in his mind. Here, let me fill you in, Bud." Two minutes later, Cas' deep chuckles filled the library. "I can see it too, Sam. You are correct. This should be lots of fun." His cerulean eyes twinkled with a mirth they seldom saw, and his mouth curled up at the corners. "I will go and get the package." he chuckled and was gone.

Not five minutes later he reappeared. "Abigail and Luna send their love, and they did give the exeptions and put the extra scroll in. If he ever gets curious, our fun will end." Dean grinned. "I'm not sure he can be that remorsefull. Come... Let's send the King home..." They went down to the dungeon, each one chuckling and grinning. Outside the dungeon, they stood for a while, calming themselves, and putting on severe faces. Sam opened the dungeon. "Finally! I thought you two knuckleheads had lost your way!" a disgruntled Crowley greeted them. "Hello Cas. Did they drag your feathered behind into this as well?" Sam bit the inside of his cheek. "Crowley. You should learn not to drop in on people like that." Crowley glared at him. "Especially if one of those people is a born witch." Dean added, his face an inscrutanable mask. "You said you had questions... Well, we are not inclined to answer." Dean nodded to Cas, who slipped out his Angelblade. "But since you probably don't mean harm to any of us, we'll let you walk. We don't need another coup, like Abbadon's." Sam bent over and flipped the special stone, breaking the Devilstrap. Dean put his arm around Crowley' shoulders, and steered him out, covertly slipping something in his pocket. "There. Go home, and don't bother us." Crowley eyed them suspiciously. "What the Holy Hell are you up to?" Cas frowned. "Why would you say that? We just want you out of our way. And like Dean said, we would rather know who occupies the Throne of Hell." This time Crowley looked at Sam. "Are you serious, Moose? You're not going to keep me here?" Sam looked at him with badly hidden disgust. "Yeah. I'm no fan of you, but at least we know you. Now scoot, before I ask the witch to repeat the spell that turned you into a Hell monkey." Crowley shook his head, mumbling "They're all daft as a brush." under his breath. One last, suspicious glance, and he was gone. "Is he really gone, Cas?" Dean asked, still deadpanning. Cas looked around. "Yes, Dean, he is." Dean looked at Sam, Sam looked at Cas, and the three of them slid on the floor in helpless laughter.

That night, Cas was sitting in the library, reading a book, when he suddenly smiled. "I knew it." he muttered under his breath. He put the book down and sat back, waiting. With the sound of feathers, a short man appeared. He had shoulderlength hair, like Sam, but his was the colour of caramel and his eyes were the colour of sunshine through a glass of whiskey. "Hello Gabriel." Cas said, keeping his voice level. "Hey little brother!" Gabriel answered. "Long time no see." Cas smiled. "Indeed." Suddenly, the shorter man flung himself into Cas' arms. "Oh gosh! I missed you Castiël..." Cas hugged him back furiously. "I missed you too." After a bit they broke apart. "Soooo. I got your message... 'Castiël hilsen Loke og sender sin broderlig kjærlighet'... Castiël greets Loki and sends his brotherly love. Sweet bit of Norwegian there, bro." Gabriel cocked his head. "What gave it away?" Cas smiled. "The hexbag. It required a spell blessed by Loki, and since it worked, I knew Loki must have listened." Gabriel smiled proudly. "I knew I taught you to use your brain. So, why did the witch make a new hexbag so soon?" Cas told him and the rich, mingled laughter of the Messenger of God and the Angel of Thursday filled the library.

The End... For now.

 **A.N. I might add more, if my Muse decides that we need more. Thank you Rebecca Frost for your review. And thank everyone who has read my ramblings. I hope y'all liked it!**

 **Hectate Ss.**


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